18th Jan – CH4 – Brown Finger & Taste My Buns

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice…


The new power couple of CM H3 joined forces to scout and set in the woods behind Suckit’s des res. What did we expect – apart from scurrilous rumours, naff jokes about knee injuries and innuendos about bush? Well we expected a top run and …. we got it.

Funnily enough the first check was a bollocks up. Why have a check after 150m when the pack are all TOGETHER defeats me. Frozen had only done 50m as he’d short cut from the off!

Some headed right up along the fence towards the forest. Some kept on straight. After OnOn was called right there was more confusion than the charge of the Light Brigade.
Htf can you call Onon wrongly? Actually very easily, as the sloppy hares had neglected to remove or spot TWO old Graven asscrack strips. Granted I only saw one – but Anyone swears there was a second to the right and she was 100m ahead of me. I can vouch for one. Couldn’t credit they’d left that there. It was a bit despoiled suggesting it wasn’t fresh that morning so old paper it was. Hares must have been staring into each others’ eyes or similar…
My toes were hurting like buggary after a shite pedicure so I walked a bit with Browny sweeping his trail. Taste my Runs had gone off ahead running her own trail and swearing she’d give no clues. Not a big fan of that but some hares are adamant it is their right. I did on my first couple of runs as I was nervous about my set but after a while I realized it wasn’t popular and ffs you work enough scouting and setting the damn trail.

After I left Browny there were long minutes of silent green therapy as I wound around the wondrous trails, with joy in my heart and pain in my big toes.

Catching Sticky Wicket, it was time for enjoyable footy talk and regret that he’s not made contact when in Saudi for 2 years.

Onwards we romped, Motorboat and Toy Boat close by as the trail headed deeper and twisted hither and thither. Most checks were easy to follow but some places paper was dropped AT the check or started 30m away which both don’t assist much.

I started jogging about halfway and passed Does Nothing striding along contentedly having put some yardage between himself and the Tibetan twins Humpty Dumpty and Purple Fart. Why the Tibetan twins? Because they’re always yakking!

As I passed the gruesome twosome Humpty yelled out “Nice ass!” This so put me off I ran off paper for 100m at the next V and only a loud shout from Does Nothing recalibrate my braincell.

The trails just didn’t let up, runnable, lovely and confusing if you were a FRB I’d imagine.

As we got close to settled property a clever check had us reversing 160 degrees to the right and zigzagging around and back towards the A. As I put my foot down I passed a few relaxing runners right at the end, Pays By The Inch, Cumalot etc. Why hadn’t I run behind them all trail I idly wondered?!

Toes aching but spirit refreshed I sauntered home on the hour mark.

Circle was low key and we welcomed returnees from Didcot H3 in UK and a fit looking Sydneysider who enjoyed his down down beer with relish and showed just the right spirit.

Funnily enough his friend Nick – the wallaby who saved a wallaby – had had an almighty punch up on tv with my acquaintance Robert in 1989 in Brisbane as the British Lions took on Australia at Ballymore. I hope he reminds NF-J of it when they next meet!

18th Jan - CH4 - Brown Finger & Taste My Buns, 7.5 out of 10 based on 2 ratings