6th July – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 3.6/10 (5 votes cast)

WTF? So the hare is now in hospital, the co-hare unable to show up because of class… I was left to give the briefest of harebriefs… Before the run I’d taken the 2 visitors aside and told them about the really shitty temple steps – 990 steps to the temple behind the Sameong football field. I told them as an example of a shitty run that some virgins decide to do when they don’t know any better, and assured them that Mr. Poo wouldn’t do anything so stupid…

Was I set up? The hare decides to set one of the worst runs in hash history, checks into rehab, and leaves me the job of emcee? So embarrassed from setting the run they both can’t face showing up? Trail set into the mountains, but if the hashers don’t return, the hares will be fine, pampered by cute nurses, taking selfies of their mountains of food.

We were off, and Chuckie and I both got the first check wrong. Both confident we were right, and trying to out run each other to justify our choice as ‘first to the check’. Nobody else called, so we carried on around and finally I hit trail going backwards as finally HRA called on leading Greasy towards me. We were headed towards the temple. It was Belly that called the 2nd check, and fook me dead, surely not. At the foot of the steps we couldn’t see paper, until Sex Pistol went a bit further up and called “ONON”. WHY? If she had just said “I see nothing”, we could all have turned around and given up. Poo would never have known… We could have just done a little jog along the river and gone back to the beer, but bloody Sex Pistol calls us on, and now we are committed to the climb.

I was still in the state that Mr. Poo wouldn’t do a run like that. He wouldn’t do the hill. He isn’t a monster. So at the only opportunity to escape the hill, I checked left, praying I was right, but ultimately CW called from up the steps, and we were doomed. There is that moment on the climb where it looks like you might have got to the top, and then you round the corner and see an even steeper set of stairs blending into the distance. Having climbed the stairs before I was ready for it, ready for the pain, heartbreak and sorrow.

Finally reaching the top, and the pack is strung out for the descent. CW leading the way with Greasy, and I was in a pack with Sex Pistol, Sheep Shagger and Rob. On the downhill bits I let gravity control my legs, but it took a lot of effort to keep moving on even the slightest ascent. Up the stairs so we could attack the road? Somewhere ahead I heard a check and and ONON from Greasy. CW had breezed past the alternative “trail” and let GG take it – SS and SP ducked off and I headed to deal with the circle, at least until I saw poor CW panting his way back up the hill. Surely we all know you could have just carried on and rejoined a bit below? Good sport though.

CW was on a mission down the hill while my legs were still feeling the steps. At the bottom we emerged back just by the temple… Oh how I wish I had sprinted to find paper there before anyone found paper up the temple steps. From here it was a bunch of tarmac to take us to the road ONIN. Shitty Trail…

6th July - CH4 - Mr. Poo, 3.6 out of 10 based on 5 ratings