Courtesy: Brown Finger!
I woke up this morning feeling a little disturbed. Alas, this was not due to my girlfriend’s usual pre-breakfast foraging under the blanket. No, I had fallen asleep last night with the news that two of the most sneaky, sadistically cunning hares known to the Chiang Mai hashing community, BMY and Belly Dancer – good to see you back and looking well, man – had decided to combine their respective “talents” to set the Saturday trail, and I had been having nightmares about it.
My anxiety increased as the songthaew wound its way slowly through the 10k maze of narrow alleyways towards the A site, which was hard to navigate even in the full light of day . . . The convivial discussions in the back encroached upon the thorny issue of the wimp/rambo split. Would this pair of most irreverent hares dare to defy the edict of the GM and “the committee” and set one, or would they find another way to upset the Horny Arsehole and his loyal acolytes? Well, the hare brief suggested that the run might indeed be within the official guidelines as BMY quickly barked out his orders for the day: “V checks, cross checks, circle checks, skiddy sticks, any questions?!” Ah, no mention of a w/r. Round one to the Spunky Monkey!
Somewhat later than the allotted start time we were sent out on trail, but there was still plenty of daylight left in which to complete the 5-6k trail that Monkey Banger had insisted upon, wasn’t there? Now Shagless is not well known for his FRB exploits, but today he was on fire. The dude was burning up the trail like a twisted fire starter on amphetamines, but wait, wasn’t the trail already on fire – I mean literally. Whatever, the great galloping Canadian was magnificent as he tore through the early checks leaving the usual suspect FRBs trailing in his ashes. But then his moment of blazing glory suddenly faded to a flicker as the trail meandered up towards the great dam wall.
The view over the reservoir was quite spectacular, and was even more so as we came to a “5” stop circle half way up a stony mound that resembled the steep work face of a deserted quarry. After a few appreciative “oohs” and “aahs”, the requisite five were off again down through the shiggy trail to the low lands where I assumed we would find the on-in. This must be approaching Humping Monkey’s designated 5-6k distance, I thought. But although I knew where the A site was, the insolent hares insisted on taking us further and further away from it, setting checks that the FRBs were finding hard to read. Nice trails and rice fields took us way past the 6k mark until, finally, the last three checks turned us back in the direction of where I knew the A site to be.
Despite the “unauthorized” extra distance – in the region of 10k total? – the two DFLs, Frozen Dick and Tip Toe, arrived back safely after about an hour and five minutes, as the light was fast deserting the already commenced circle. Apparently, they had declined the offer of a short cut. Excellent hashers! The circle was appropriately short and seemed to me somewhat more amusing than usual, maybe because it dared to be more inventive, to stray from the normal tourist format – I do not recall a single “long arm of the law” splash for hash shirt infringements or other such routine matters, or a splash enacted upon an unfortunate “boy” for daring to across the Shagging Simian’s circle – but I might have been asleep at the time. After the closing ceremony, which, alas, did not include Toe Jam’s favorite “swing low, sweet chariot” anthem, most hashers departed for the on-on, leaving a few of us who had to be elsewhere in town. However, as I had foreseen, in the pitch black the songthaew driver got completely lost in the maze and we ended up on several occasions asking locals for directions. Needles to say, some of us missed our assignations, but what the hell . . .
So then, the fearsome combined intellects of the hares decided not to make use of a wimp/rambo split, which appears to be a common, internationally accepted tool for the hare to use where safe and appropriate to do so. But they did go far beyond the guidelines on distance. So, honors even – one to the royal Monkey Man and the committee and one to the disobedient hares. But wait, aren’t both hares also significant members of the committee? This makes no sense at all!
Fine trails, superb views, good short circle – great work lads.