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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running Since 1991
Hash Trash 1558 Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Snail Trail
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Chatterbox
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec.– Stumbling Dyke
Run # 1559
There is no doubt about it, with the ambient temperature pushing 40 degrees, Mother Nature has cranked up the global thermostat and we are well and truly once more into the hot season. If you can remember, It is only a matter of a few weeks ago, we all could have been found huddled around a roaring camp fire in Doi Chang. This is now, like the embers of that fire, a fading memory; once again, showing us how quickly things change in Thailand.
Well, it’s been at least two weeks since J C has set a run, so it must be his turn again. Exemplifying another weird consequence of Covid . Due to the lack of Chinese tourists -which was J C’s ‘bread and butter’- CSH3 has been gifted with a more or less fulltime hare. So an honorable mention must go out to the illustrious Joint Master for his dedication to haring.
Today Juicy fruit was his co hare of choice, and the A bucket was opposite the Bamboo restaurant on the Samoerng Road. The same location, CAT and Always on Top set a run a couple of weeks ago -which apparently J C had nothing to do with. What with the blistering heat and the omnipresent air pollution, numbers were understandably a little thin on the ground with about 25 hashers turning out for today’s escapade. Today was one of those rare B to A runs. The last one I remember on CSH3 was a run set by Skid Mark, about 7 or 8 months ago, where he infamously drove Titty Smoker’s truck and almost sent everyone traveling in the back flying out of the vehicle. Thankfully skid Mark wasn’t assigned any driving duties and Lung La and J C transported everyone to the B site while Chuck Wao was left back at the A bucket, on sentry duty, assigned with the noble and important task of stopping any would be miscreants from purloining any of the post run liquid refreshment – in other words, keeping an eye on the beer.
After about a drive of 3 or 4 km we arrived at the B bucket which turned out to be just up the road from the HRA shelter. We all set off up a very dry and dusty trail and into the forest. At this point it was brought to my attention that an observation had been made by Rat’s Arse and Piggy. They had noticed the drive to the starting point had been mainly uphill, so according to their collaborative scientific calculations had worked out the run would have to be a downhill affair. I quickly deduced, their conclusion had been based very much on anecdotal evidence and optimism and not on any particular aspect of Newtonian physics as we were soon faced with a very steep hill that needed to be negotiated and it wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, going in a downhill direction.
That obstacle behind us we carried on the dusty arid trails and it was nice to see they had reintroduced the use of cross checks – I haven’t seen one of those for quite some time. We kept climbing and eventually ended up on the top of a mountain giving us an amazing view down into the valley. That said, it would have been a lot more spectacular if it hadn’t been for the pollution. Anyway at this elevation and a quick glance to my right hand side revealed a near vertical drop right to the bottom, so extreme caution was very much the order of the day.
As I started to descend the mountain being very careful not slip on the dry leaves which are everywhere at this time of year and one the major hazards faced by every hasher. I had a brainwave; coming up with the concept of a new extreme sport. This new sport is called dry leaf skiing. Everyone who has ever hashed in Chiangmai would soon realize, with it’s a abundance of mountains, this area would make a great skiing destination, but obviously the lack of any snow makes this idea impossible. There may be a lack of snow, but there is an inexhaustible supply of dry leaves, which any hasher can testify to, are just as slippery as the slipperiest snow. These dry leaves could be packed down to make some pretty amazing ski runs and may be even turned into an Olympic sport someday.
There would also be an environmental benefit to this new concept in skiing. At the present time these leaves have very little practical use and are just burnt adding to the egregious air pollution. But this sport would create a demand for the decaying arboreal foliage therefore incentivizing people to collect them up and make some money in the process. Everyone would be a winner from this new leisure activity the local economy, the tourist industry, the environment and most of all the hasher who could run sure footed in the forest once more, just a thought.
Back to the run, I eventually traversed my way, following a myriad of trails, to the bottom of the mountain and thinking I must be somewhere near the A bucket, but I was nowhere near the end zone with at least another 2 km to go. The trail from now on was generally flat although by now it was starting to get dark which is never a good scenario. I eventually got back to the Bamboo Restaurant and was able to take a sneaky short cut back to the A bucket. I clocked up just over 6 km in a time of about90 minutes another highly commendable run, great job guys.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke…
