Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running Since 1991
Hash Trash 1542 Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Hot Nipples
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Titty Smoker
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec.– Stumbling Dyke
Run 1543
With the election bringing with it a ban on the sale of alcohol resulting in Deep Throat having to make a mad dash to Makro for provisions before the deadline ,as I may have forgotten to remind him; and a visiting big wig in the area making the hares reroute today’s run. The portents weren’t looking particularly good. But these are obstacles – pronounced ob-star-cals in Chiangmai hashing parlances – we have to overcome from time to time . It’s all part and parcel of the hash. Today’s instigators were Square Rooter and Wooly Jumper and the location was along Canal Road about 1 km after the Huey Tung Tao turning.
About 30 hashers turned out for today’s outing with Chuck Wao bringing along a very pleasant young lady by the name of Y. Hopefully he will be able to encourage her to bring along some of her friends as we are over quota on ugly farang geezers. Square Rooter gave the hare brief. I can’t remember anything of significance, so we all set off across a bridge into a wooded area with many trails. Square Rooter had described the terrain as flat: I would have said it was definitely undulating.
About 20 minutes into the run, I heard some rustling in the bushes, and what seemed like appearing from nowhere, Bushy Tail came blazing onto the trail. She totally took me by surprise. Anyway, the whole area was a mass of trails going in all directions, but it was bound be a big fence to the left which separated us from the cycle track near Huey Tung Tao. So there was no chance anyone could get lost. We eventually got to the wimp / Rambo split. I opted for the Rambo, and although I was on trail all the time, following powder, I might add. I somehow inadvertently must have shortcut, as it wasn’t long before I was back on the wimp trail and following Tip Toe who had tripped over some steel rods which were protruding out of the ground intermittently along the trail. Now he had a big gash on his arm, but in inimitable hash style he soldiered on. We carried on the trail being very careful to avoid the protruding steel rods. They seemed to be everywhere. Then back to the A bucket. I clocked up just over 5 km and was informed by the mushroom brigade that no fungus was gathered today as everything is too dry. Anyway guys, great run.
Now we are once more at that festive time of year, I want to bring you a story from the Great Hash Liturgical Text. This piece is taken from the Book of Rooter and his third Epistle to the Bangkokians. It goes like this:
A wise old sage going by the name of Square Rooter had studiously been monitoring the heavens. He had calculated that at this time there would be a planetary alignment between the astral bodies of Saturn and Jupiter. All those there present gazed at the phenomenon in the night sky and were amazed. It was at the time of the great plague of 2020 which was decimating the whole fabric of civilization. And it came to pass in the days of Skid Mark, G M of the Chiang Mai Saturday Hash; in the province of Chiang Mai; in the kingdom of Thailand. That Skid Mark did appoint to the role of Religious Advisor, Chuck Wao of the antipodean lineage. Chuck Wao did solemnly swear under his stewardship that he would ensure that not so much as one drop of rain would fall on a Saturday hash. Chuck Wao diligently embraced his task and dutifully completed his allotted role and performed the miracle, as no moisture was seen to precipitate from the heavens on any of the hashes on Saturday under his tenure.
It was decreed that Chuck Wao would be rewarded for his diligence and commitment and an angel by the name of Y was sent unto Chuck Wao and she would bring him glad tidings of great joy – and a few other fringe benefits ,I’m sure. From this point Chuck Wao went forth and hopefully didn’t multiply. Praise be to the Hash. Merry Christmas, everyone.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke…