Tag Archives: Shagless

14th Jan – CSH3 – Foxy & TMB

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It seems like every week is a ‘special’ run, with hares putting extra efforts in as the hash goes from strength to strength! We had the Xmas Eve run, the New Years Eve run, the Ball Breaker, and now a barbecue run at Foxy’s new place, with special contributions from 3 1/2 Inch, Anti Virus and Turkish Delight. The event drew out from the wordwork the likes of Bone Hur (& Bone Idol) amongst the throng of regulars and visitors! Numbers seemed reasonable when we set off on the run, but clearly quite a few extras didn’t realise just how (ffing) far down Hang Dong road it was, and just how many traffic lights we had to get through – the likes of Super family, Cool Balls & family, and the Shagless wedding party arriving late.

Those that were ready set off immediately to a circle check in the middle of Foxy’s compound. Finally Turkish found the trail after we had broken through a fence and escaped – he found trail, but waited a while before letting anyone else know, and it took the rest of us a while longer to figure out how to get to where he was calling from. We followed after Turkish and got to another circle. Turkish had gone 100m or so to the right, Brownie was reluctantly checking ahead, and while another couple milled around the check, I begrudgingly checked to the left – towards the Hang Dong road… It was a 0%’er, but someone had to do it. I got a full 100 paces, slowly, before that Tvrkish fvcking cvnt called. Tw@t c0ck tvrd d!ck cvnt. We saw him in the distance as we ran across a field to another circle. Again I got it wrong and checked right. I suspect Turkish had had time to check that way already, but others caught him as the call came – I didn’t see him again until he was sat back at the runsite. SCB.

Obscene led for a while, and suddenly we hit a very familiar trail – yes, Shagless had set here. A false trail to the right brought the pack together and then it was HRA and I checking forwards on the road. It was quite a way, but finally we found powder. The next circle was tucked around the corner. Brownie and Scooby carried along the road, and then pointed left and cut across. I went around the corner and saw them on a parallel road pointing at a tree. They said they had paper, but seemed confused about what to do. Apparently the BB screw up has given them mental scars and they were fearful of calling. Coming from the correct direction it made pretty good sense, the paper hidden on the back of the tree, and I set off. Brownie followed while Scooby continued confusing the pack behind us – arriving at the next check with only Brownie and Bob was a bit weird, but we all managed to check in completely the wrong places, twice, and now I was way behind again. Damn, I was getting everything wrong.

The trails were familiar, and I spent some time slowly moving towards the front, at one point the trail suddenly turned right, and I called Poo & Scooby back after they’d carried on forwards – well I called Poo back, and then spent a minute trying to remember what to call Scooby. Whatever, it worked, and we rejoined the front as they came back from a false trail. There was an obvious alternative, but I wasn’t placed in the right place to check it, so rather than just milling around I went left, and again was left behind. I was getting tired, and seemed to be constantly playing catch up, only to get it wrong when I did catch up.

Lizard Gizzard was ahead, but his advantage was negated by the pack recognising where we were and most not bothering to run around an extra loop. The pace had been quick – sub 7min per km, and I was starting to feel the pain. I dropped back a bit and watched the FRBs play the game. We could see Big C and I knew we weren’t far from home. We turned into a Moobaan, and there was a check that caught out most of the FRBs, and suddenly I was near the front with Graven and the Lizard. The Lizard missed trail for a moment and I was chasing Graven down – surely we would be home v. soon?? Trail turned abruptly left and suddenly the ground was spongy, moist and uneven. I walked taking care of my footing, while the rest of the pack charged past me. Half of them promptly sank waist deep into a nasty trap set my the hares! I remembered another run by Shagless when the same thing happened at the same point, but I can’t quite remember who it was that sank. We emerged back to the rice paddies, and Angry and I checked to the left along the edge of the fields, trying to avoid damaging them. Around 100m from the check, at the edge of the field, I spied Superman and Superbitch scuttling along the other side of a small creek – they were ON, so AI & I hopped over the creek and trudged in. Mostly a good running trail, but it really shows how long it takes to recover from a Ball Breaker like last week…

August 25th – CH4 – Shagless & Doesn’t Get It

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Rainstorms the night before, but it cleared up nicely in time for the hash. I left work early, fearful of traffic, but made reasonable time along Sameong Road, and then left down a smaller road to a new runsite. I’ve never hashed from there before, but I did take a look at it once with HRA when we were planning the ballbreaker – I was interested what Shagless had in store for us! Gradually the cars arrived and crawled up the hill, and most of the regulars were there. Unfortunately there was one notable absence, I find it disappointing that a long time, regular hasher, who does so much for the club, has been made to feel so uncomfortable that they don’t want to participate in hash activities after being repeatedly slandered. The hash is a social club that accepts anyone to join, so long as all who join get into the spirit of it with a bit of a run, silly names, ice time and drinking games where we poke a bit of fun at each other. So it isn’t for everyone, no problem, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed and in the spirit of having fun at the hash, personal grievances should be settled outside.

Back to the run! After the harebrief, it began with a circle check! Graven Image would be livid! I can hear him now saying “checks are to bring the pack together, an early check just scatters the pack!”. We all know that Gravy likes to walk to the first check, so it would have been a short walk for him! Fortunately I’d spied an interesting little trail heading up the hill, and sure enough, the hares had found it too. I was way ahead as the rest of the pack had to come back from exploring the car park. I continued and found another check. Continue up the hill – hell I didn’t want to check down! Nothing, so I tried another option, still nothing, and we were called back down.

I jogged down the hill, for the first time breaking into a bit of a run, but I really just wasn’t in the mood. We got to a junction where there was no check, but paper appearing to go in 2 directions. Square Rooter was coming back from one calling false trail, while Taste My Buns was coming back from another completely different direction – where there was no trail, but she claimed to have seen a check back… WTF was going on? I later found out the check back was actually some powder marking from the wimp trail, that Shagless had set on his motorbike – riding a motorbike turns blobs of powder into lines! Why she was there, nobody can answer, but we quickly followed the other paper uphill to another check. I got it wrong, and rejoined the trail at the Wimp Rambo. This had been a really good trail so far, but I just wasn’t feeling it for whatever reason – long day at work? dodgy knee? whatever excuse fits the bill, I opted for the wimp trail.

Back down the hill, and some confusion at the bottom with an arrow leading to a V-Check. A V-Check where one trail lead onwards, while the other lead back into the Rambo run. Fortunately for me I chose the rest of the trail, but Does Nothing behind me was not so lucky! An interesting idea to rejoin the trails, but probably one that shouldn’t be attempted again! I meanwhile carried on and followed the trail out, getting 1 V-check wrong. Some really great trail here and I think we will be back at some point! Thanks hares!

13th August – CSH3 – Shagless & Doesn’t Get It

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Without looking at directions, like a magnet I was drawn toward canal road. Sure enough there were signs to the left and to a brand new runsite. A new runsite, and certainly for me 100% virgin trails. That takes away any advantage I may have! We set off with Belly Dancer doing his trademark (farewell) sprint start… I followed, and he was visibly happy when the first check appeared – I don’t think he would have been sprinting much further. From the first circle I could see paper off to the left, and of course headed over. The 2nd circle, I ducked and spotted paper through the orchard and things were going well early on!

Then we got to some V checks. CW went right on the first V check, and found no check back. The 2nd V check I went left and just ran out of paper, before going back left and also running out of paper. There was much confusion with hashers all over the place. Finally HRA found the trail crawling past a barbed wire post into an orchard. Meandering through an orchard for just a while before returning to the road. On the road I was pretty sure I could see something unusually white in the distance to the right, so set off after HRA, while Sloppy and Buns headed out into the rice fields. I had locked in on definite white paper when finally Sloppy called in the field. Piggy & Turkish were quick enough to follow me rather than go back the long way around, and sure enough we were on paper again. Turkish only wanted to follow feigning no idea what was going on, but I lost him at the next check, as Piggy followed me. Another circle, and I arrived with Piggy – he headed left, and my gut said he was correct. I was very slow checking right. I paused to retie my shoe lace. Looking back, everyone else was also following Piggy to the left, but why hadn’t he called? OK… I jogged forwards and there was the paper… On On and to the Beer stop, just ahead of Bow Wow and Head Hacker, who amazingly had got lucky along the road!

A beer stop, right next to a circle check. A road. Both sides were rice fields, and the hare brief had said only follow the marked burns… Hashers scattered, and I sauntered. Into a little property looked tempting – the kind of place you ask and get permission from! A flash of white on a tree ahead. Sweet! OnOn! The call brought hashers charging from all directions, the GM notably dancing his own route across the burns. Worse still was the Turk and KO, who just said fuck the trail, I’ll trample the rice fields and rejoin further ahead. With Turkish ahead, CW was like a greyhound. Turkish was the short cutting bastard (as usual), but CW couldn’t resist chasing him down like a gazelle chasing a hippo in a weird cartoon. I plodded along and got to another beer stop.

I would like to apologise to the hares, for my bad form here. I didn’t take the 2nd beer and headed off after the leaders like a racist bastard. My behaviour was incorrect, and I regret it. Sadly there were 2 racists ahead of me who also missed out on a comforting beer. I’d rather not talk about the end of the run… the strava flyby says it all… Great run hares – the checks came thick and fast, and were confusing from the start to the last. You definitely caught me out, and if I am running to catch up with Pamela, Sups and Geisha Gash only to catch Belly Dancer at the OnIn, then good job!

30th July – CSH3 – Belly Dancer

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The 1313 run, unlucky for some? What epic nightmares would Belly conjure up for us? After a night at the rustic Cave Lodge, on one of the most uncomfortable beds ever, with barely any sleep, I was probably not best prepared for what was coming. Dodgy guts didn’t help either – I really wasn’t feeling like it! The harebrief required a lot of co-ordination, which just added to the trepidation.

The first bit was perhaps inspired – the irony of 13 water crossings, in honour of 1313 – particularly with our GM’s aversion to getting his feet wet. He dutifully stopped at each to take off his shoes, and socks, and again the otherside to use his towel to dry off before continuing. 13 times was stretching things, and he was a LONG long way behind at the beer stop. So was I though – after staying with the pack for a few checks, I quickly dropped backwards. Shagless joined me, and I think he slowed down to stay with me, as we navigated our way through a quaint little village to the stop.

I very nearly stopped – I just wasn’t feeling it, and although the pack had waited, they set off straight away. I waited with Belly, and another 5-10 mins later CW showed up. We sent him off, and were just heading back to the resort, when I changed my mind and decided to press on. I quickly caught CW up, as he was busily taking his shoes off for another water crossing. We trudged along some concrete paths to the W/R split. Bravely we decided to press on to the Rambo route, and after another KM or so we found the trail leading into a flooded cave. Danger signs all around, this is where we needed the guide, but as he wasn’t waiting for anyone else, he’d already set off. We thought we had heard sounds from up the hill, but couldn’t find paper. No choice but to turn back and do the “Wimp” run – if ever there was an inappropriate name – this was definitely not a WIMP run!

With limited checks it headed up, up, up, up…. Total elevation gain was 545m. This was a hard slog, but CW kindly stayed with me and encouraged me onwards. The checks were kicked out, but we had no way of knowing if people were ahead or behind. To be fair it was all on reasonable trails – I just don’t like the hills, and was feeling really weak. Finally we started descending, but it was slippy some slow going. Up ahead we saw Pamela, Geisha Gash, Wooly Jumper and Doesn’t Get It – seriously? The hares had sent them out on that trail? We caught up with them as we got back to the river. Only there had been a problem. Some of the runners were already back, but as they crossed the river, a dam had burst up stream sending a flash flood down the river – very fast carrying branches etc. We couldn’t cross. Who could have predicted a flash flood? During rainy season? (http://www.nationmultimedia.com/breakingnews/Four-provinces-warned-of-flash-floods-landslide-30291684.html) The nearest bridge was around 1km away, and now we were off paper scrambling to find our own ways home…

Exhausted we made it back, the FRBs from the long trail catching us up, and Scooby kindly bought some drinks at a local shop to help us home. An epic nightmare!

Woke up this morning for the hangover run – 3.5km, with only 1 runner brave enough to set off on another BD challenge!

25th July – CH3 – Shagless

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A Shagless run from the flatlands in between the Hang Dong Road and the river. This is Skidmark land! Harebrief over, and we set off, with only CW and I making any early efforts. A V-check, and I went left, paper, paper, paper, nothing, nothing, nothing… I hunted around for a check back, but none to be seen – fortunately CW called ONON to the next check, and the checks were coming fast! I love it! Straight back into the mix as everyone was going wrong, but plenty of checks had everyone milling around together. At last I managed to string a sequence together and got a bit of a lead – the trail turned right and arrived at a “bridge”.

A bridge:-
noun
1.
a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.

I guess that is a fairly loose definition of a bridge… But does a thin piece of bamboo casually dropped across a raging river count as a structure? It certainly spanned the gap, but it didn’t provide passage for this hasher. I put a foot on it, and thought better of it. Ack. So frustrating! I could see a check on the other side, and I could also see paper in the distance to the left… But I couldn’t get over… The clock was ticking, and shortly CW arrived with Sloppy. They politely asked me to get out the way, and danced across the treacherous balance beam. Damnit!!! I tried to find another way… And when I say I tried to find another way, I mean it – It took me around 2.5km, but eventually I found another way across.

Sadly by that time, and by the time I found paper again, I was a long, long, long way behind. Not much later, there was another bridge, that just seemed to have a little too much balance requirement, so again I went back and found a safer crossing. I was sorely tempted to head home, but I also needed the exercise, so I carried on. Eventually I saw Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Bone Smoker ahead, and slowly reeled them in as we crossed the rice fields, but when we hit the road they ignored it and turned left to short cut their way back. It was tempting, but I turned right and pushed myself over more dodgy bridges, and finally made it back to the circle some time after the majority. Good run, if you like that kind of “bridge”!

2nd July – CSH3 – HRA

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There are a few hares in history who are well remembered for losing hashers on trail… for hashers coming in in the dark as the circle ended… We don’t need to name names, but some of us have feared for our lives being left on trail in the dark. HRA is the latest to join that distinct haring club!

There was rain all day, it was miserable… As beer monster I had a duty to deliver beer to the medium sized group that braced the elements. HRA was nervous – something in his demeanour was even more concerned than usual – we even saw him several times out on trail, when any normal hare would have been snuggled in the shelter with a beer. The hare brief wasn’t brief – multiple Wimp trails… unmarked but for an arrow (an arrow that could have said “Save yourselves!!!”). When he finally pointed out the direction, even then it took us a while to find trail. Finally Obscene and I could call and set off away from the hills to a junction where surely there should have been a check, and perhaps pre rain there might have been, but there definitely wasn’t anymore. We found trail and continued into shiggy covered rice fields.

The side effect of rain is mud, and this was heavy going. The soles of everyone’s shoes gained 3 inches. Slogging along on the flat trails away from the mountains, we headed into shanty town. It had grown a lot since the last time we ran through (the AGFU)… Ah yes the AGFU, when we ran many of the same trails, when they were dry, and didn’t involve slip sliding around. We got to what looks like a wet moobaan development, and a circle had the pack spread out to the left. To the right I saw the hare, and headed towards him and trail. While most of the pack followed, Turkish short cut his way to the lead, and took advantage of the torrential rain to not bother calling. It was a clusterfuck. I couldn’t see without my glasses, hardly anyone could hear even if we were calling, and the paper to mark the trail was soggy anyway. What the fuck are we doing?

Of course it wouldn’t take long before Turkey fucked up. But then there was a check that fucked everyone up. Mostly as it was in a moobaan and the rain was so loud nobody could hear anything. HRA was on his bike like a sheep dog rounding us up and shepherding us in the right direction. Having lost ground there I took some time to catch up with Pigshit (who was “walking” today – wtf?), Shagless, ABB, Toe Sucker, Sex Pistol, Obscene… A bit of a meander and finally Sloppy was in sight, leading the way, and enjoying having first choice at a check on the road that surely took us home. He slow danced his way towards the A, insisting that I checked the “dummy run”… Well Fuck You Sloppy! You got it wrong!

We turned away from the A and headed for the hills… 5-6km in and now we were hitting the hills? What was HRA thinking? I second guessed a False Trail, and led the way up the hill. From there many checks were straight on back towards the A. For a while CW was getting 2nd choice on the checks, but refusing to see an alternative way… Finally he caught up, and when he picked it, he was off and home sailing all the way down and home. A LONG 9km run. The circle was mostly missing the hare, who was riding his bike around looking for hashers, and Sups, who was driving his car in search of Superbitch (what a husband!). Finally as the circle closed Superbitch, Anything and Bubble Head came in – at least Bubble Head had a smile on his face. I guess he was smiling that HRA just joined his Dad’s club!

23rd June – CH4 – Anything

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When Anything teams up with Chilly Pussy we never know what to expect – fortunately it is mushroom season, so they may have cut the run shorter to gather more mushrooms! We set off and my inhaler had no puff, so I would have to be careful about my asthma – damnit! Second check and there were 2 parallel trails, at least I thought they were parallel, and got to learn the hard way that they weren’t – CW got the right trail, I took the left, and wrong one. I could easily have cut across to join him, but was confident my lovely trail met his just around the corner. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

Finally I managed to cut back across and found trail at the back with Cougar, Doesn’t Get It and Bobble Head. Having gone up the wrong hill, I then had to work my way up another hill. There was Toe Jam going the wrong way. I slowly picked off runners by sticking on the nice trail, that was 10m to the left of the scramble the hares had marked. Past Tiptoe, who was mixing it with the ladies… There was Obscene, and Cumalot… And then Kwazi, Shagless & Does Nothing. I kept it steady, but slowly reeled people in.

And then when the trail finally broke left there was 2.5km without checks to get back. I had a glimpse of ABB & Motorboat ahead and later Barbindoll, but was forced to take it steady to control my breathing. Damnit – these are great running trails, I just want to run! Even Kwazi started to close me down towards the end, but I wasn’t going to allow that humiliation! Nice set from a kind and gentle Anything!

Fly By

18th June – CSH3 – Shagless

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It is always very appreciated when the hares go out of their way to put on something special. Given the run directions I kinda thought the hares would do something special, but the directions read along the lines of “drive to the end of the earth, and then turn right and drive another 8km. There were encouraging hash signs pointing forwards to encourage us onwards into outstation territory – apparently there was no accommodation, and we would have to drive back!

The hare brief was one of the more elaborate I’ve witnessed. The hares role playing how we should act on trail, and giving clues to how confusing their run would be. So… There is a wimp rambo. The wimps would do a B->A, and the rambos and A->A. At some point in his dreams Shagless came up with this idea that wimps and rambos would meet on trail, but they should go in opposite directions. Wimps should follow pink, rambos follow white, and at no point should anyone get confused. I’m coming to the end of the 2nd paragraph and we haven’t set out on the run yet!

We were set off and Shit House pulled a Belly Dancer – sprinting to the first check only to get it wrong. The trail cut up a small hill to the road. Arriving with Piggy & CW, they didn’t want to check anywhere apart from where I went, and sure enough we were all right. A V check – in a completely unknown area, I had no advantage, I gambled wrong, and CW and I were then making our way back through the pack. Did I mention yet that I felt like shit – recovering from both a potentially deadly case of Man-Flu, and a hangover had me in a remarkably shabby state.

Looking at my GPS track afterwards, this run is really genius – really impressed with the hares for finding the trails in a completely new area. Catching up from checking the wrong way, we were heading up a hill, and up ahead Piggy was very confused. Maybe he didn’t hear the hare brief? He was talking about pink paper, and worried he was on the wimp trail. Nobody saw the check and it took a while before Turkish did the OnOn call. We went through a couple of checks – of course they weren’t obvious – we had no idea where we were, or where we were going. At some point I got to a check ahead with Cuckold, and there was Motorboat coming towards us…

Setting a trail where the walkers go the opposite direction to the runners along the same trail just sounds like a bad idea! Or is it a good idea? It is an idea for sure… WTF? It worked… We got to say hello… We got to cling to the side of the hill while Tiptoe charged towards us, and we got to dodge Chilly Pussy with her mushroom collecting team. Very different midpoint to the run, and then we were off again.

A great check where nobody spotted the 3rd trail option, and suddenly ABB was leading the way back down the hill. I was feeling worse and worse. I was mostly walking, trying to keep pace with those doing the checks. Fortunately I managed to get to the “obstacle” in the first batch. The hares had arranged a raft to take us across the fast flowing river with escorts swimming us across. I took a moment to crash on the raft. It didn’t make me feel better. So I let the runners take off along the other side of the river. Some how the checks held up the pack, although the raft ride did separate groups along the trail. I confess I may have put paper slightly wrong off a check, but it wasn’t much. We negotiated another creek crossing, and back across the bridge to the A.

Really good run, a really good circle, and a really good OnOnOn. Cuckold estimated 6-8 paragraphs for a write up. How long is a piece of string?

25th October – CSH3 – Superman

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The Super family combined to create a new hash adventure. A familiar starting point by the waterfall cafe behind Wat Doi Kham. Once most of us had found the hash signs to get there, I figured we’d have a bit of climbing to do – it’s a great trail, but most of the runs I’ve been on there seem to follow the same route. Would the veteran hasher find something new for us? In short no… but the whole story became more interesting!

After the hare brief we were set off back down the road, around the corner and along the side of the water. There was a brief period of confusion looking for paper by a weir. Brownie pointed across the weir and up a hill, encouraging me to look for paper where there was none. Damnit, finally they called on on – why was nobody else looking for paper while I was on a wild goose chase??? What the hell, I had the higher ground, we had to be going up sooner or later, so I carried on up the ridge, with the occasional call from down the gully to my left. I finally heard Chuckie call “Check Back”, and figured they were heading off to the left – I just had to find a way to get over there… There wasn’t one, but the nice trail I was on quickly joined the main trail, and unsurprisingly there was paper marking the way. Too short to go back, so I figured I’d do the trail in reverse.

I ran up to the waterfall, found the scramble across along the edge of the hill, and started back down. Surely I would meet the pack sooner or later? Half an hour in, and I’m running backwards on trail – where were the FRBs? Finally I saw Shagless leading the way! Maybe he’d done Sups’ clever short cut? A long way further and finally there was Junglicious running towards me, followed by the pack of FRBs. We exchanged pleasantries, and I carried on backwards. Next was Turkish, desperate to know how far behind he was… Then there was a gap to Mr. Poo and the ladies. By now I was already down on the flat lands at the bottom of the hill… – How could I only be halfway through this???

Next up I saw Sups, a brief discussion and I kept going, around the corner and well, there was the out trail… WTF had happened??? I’d run pretty much the whole trail (backwards) while the rest of the pack were just mingling around? Graven appeared in front of me – turns out he’d done a similar trick to me, but not found trail. We jogged back towards the A, and found Cougar and Humperdick stood by a cross check that hadn’t been there earlier. It dawned on me – Sups had set a false trail off to the right, and then gone back and changed it up to a cross check after. Turns out it had screwed everyone up – in some ways that is excellent haring? Most seemed to disagree and quite a few negative comments were passed. I just enjoy running trail, which I did, so I was happy.

20th July – CSH3 – Skid Mark Outstation

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Been going stir crazy after tearing ankle ligaments, so decided late on to head up to the outstation. After the usual Friday night frivolities, Saturday was hashing day, and thankfully HRA had brought me a ankle brace which offered great support.

I set off on a great trail, but was soon left behind by the FRBs – Sloppy, Chuckie and HRA along with some visitors. I fell into place with Shagless and Reverse Thrust, with Frozen Dick and Microwave just a little ahead. (I hope I won’t have to type that again!) The trail was fantastic – easy going and some beautiful virgin views. The checks seemed to be quite obvious, but I guess it is a lot easier when they’ve already been kicked out!

Superman sets a formidable pace and I could see him ahead but struggled to make any ground until he stopped to water the orchard, and I ambled along with him to the beer stop. Yes… Beer Stop… Beer and Stop! I’d done enough, better to rest the ankle and enjoy the beer! It sounded like the 2nd half of the trail was just as good as the first and there were plenty of happy faces at the end. A good outstation, ended that evening with some dominos with the ladies – thanks for your money!

The hangover wasn’t as bad as I expected, and so the hangover run was just what the doctor ordered. I managed to be and FRB again with a combination of a little inside information from the hares, some intelligent short cutting and luck.